Due to a recent American government initiative to surveil everyone, everywhere, all the time, and forever, one, given the right connections, can find the details of a cellphone conversation anywhere in the world. The following was recently intercepted in Nigeria.
R: This is Nnamdi, to who am I speaking?
C: It is Olufemi.
R: Are you trying to sell me weapons again. How many times do I have to tell you I have no need for your rusty old assault rifles.
C: No, no. I am calling to tell you some white people are coming to your village.
R: Oh why? Did they discover oil? I don’t want to move again.
C: No, no, they say they are coming to build a school.
R: But we have a school, tell them we have a school.
C: I did but they want to build a new one.
R: Okay, do you want me to get my uncle on the phone he has a degree in Architecture.
C: No need they have an architect.
R: My neighbour is an engineer do they need –
C: No they have the whole thing designed.
R: Without ever coming here?
R: Okay well I will gather some of the young men to build it they haven’t had much work since they finished the road building last year.
C: They are bringing labourers.
R: They are flying people over when we have people here to build it.
C: Yes, university students are coming as volunteers.
R: So they are spending thousands on airfare to come build a school without ever coming here to know how to build and working for free while our boys don’t have money or work?
R: Do you still have those guns?
C: Better to talk when I visit.