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Due to a recent American government initiative to surveil everyone, everywhere, all the time, and forever, one, given the right connections, can find the details of a cellphone conversation anywhere in the world. The following was recently intercepted in Nigeria.

Recepient: Hello.

Caller: Hello.

R: This is Nnamdi, to who am I speaking?

C: It is Olufemi.

R: Are you trying to sell me weapons again. How many times do I have to tell you I have no need for your rusty old assault rifles.

C: No, no. I am calling to tell you some white people are coming to your village.

R: Oh why? Did they discover oil? I don’t want to move again.

C: No, no, they say they are coming to build a school.

R: But we have a school, tell them we have a school.

C: I did but they want to build a new one.

R: Okay, do you want me to get my uncle on the phone he has a degree in Architecture.

C: No need they have an architect.

R: My neighbour is an engineer do they need –

C: No they have the whole thing designed.

R: Without ever coming here?

C: Yes

R: Okay well I will gather some of the young men to build it they haven’t had much work since they finished the road building last year.

C: They are bringing labourers.

R: They are flying people over when we have people here to build it.

C: Yes, university students are coming as volunteers.

R: So they are spending thousands on airfare to come build a school without ever coming here to know how to build and working for free while our boys don’t have money or work?

C: Yes

R: Do you still have those guns?

C: Better to talk when I visit.

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One thought on “An Intercepted Phone Call (Nigeria)

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