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Being an ally is awesome. There are so many things that are great about being an ally like you get to go to rallies and yell at people and make signs. It’s awesome. I think the best part is you don’t have to worry about people calling you names like “racist”, or “uneducated” because those names can really hurt.

First of all I am not racist or homophobic or anything like that because my cousin is gay, and my mailman is black and I had teacher who was darkish skinned in high school I think she was half-Indian half-Mexican. Some of you may not have this privilege (I’ll tell you more about privilege later) so you are going to half to work to be an ally.

The first thing to be an ally is to get the look right. One of the easies things to get the ally look right is to dread your hair. I got my white friends to dread my hair but that is just because the black guy in my dorm stopped talking to me when I told him I was getting it done. I never figured out why he unfriended me on facebook. Also you might want to get some protest t-shirts or make them and if you are a guy grow a beard. The next thing you want is a whole bunch of buttons and ribbons. Get them and put them on everything.  The great thing is when someone tries to call you racist or a settler or whatever if you have the button you can just point to it and say I am an ally and then they can’t say anything.

The next thing about being an ally is to think about privilege. I used to not think about privilege much but now I always think about it when I am being an ally. Basically you know how when you were little and you got to do more stuff as you got older but if you were bad they were taken away and your parents called them privileges? Basically it is like that but in life and not white people don’t get them. If you are going to talk about privilege always say I am an ally and I experience privilege and though I don’t think about it outside here I know I have it so that makes me an ally because I acknowledge it.

Quotes are really important. Remember that don’t actually read stuff just go on the computer and find some famous ones. The Audre Lorde one about Master’s tools is the best. I know one girl who finished every paper for an entire year with that quote even her biology and physics papers.

Also as a white ally it’s important you help explain to people your allying with how to do things because they are so busy experiencing oppression it is up to you to actually teach them how to fight it.  Besides most oppression stuff you can learn about in books and non-white folks don’t have access to university in the same way its call structural racism.  Oh yeah structural racism is really important. Basically what that means is that society is racist not you as a person so you join as the ally you are to fight society rather than stop being racist yourself because you aren’t now that you are an ally.

The last step and most fun step is going to protests. First of all you need a banner or sign and a march route. The best sign usually gets a prize at the end of the protest so try to make some good references on your sign. It helps if you have a megaphone and some good things to shout.  Be ready to get arrested.  Being arrested is a great way to get street cred especially when you don’t actually know what the protest is about.

There you go now you are an ally.

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3 thoughts on “How to be a white ally: A beginner’s guide by a super awesome ally.

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