It is a common mistake to assume that European and white are identical categories. Despite the origin of whiteness in Europe a significant portion of Europeans are not that white. Recent research done by the Saami Institute for the Study of Whiteness based in Giron has provided a basis to start to explicate the divisions between those who are horribly white and the merely European.
Scotland is a European country whose national anthem celebrates fending off a colonial invasion by the white English hordes. Nevertheless after colonization their colonizers offered a Scots a chance to be white if they helped colonize other places. A disgracefully large number of Scots took the offer. In this mass confusion the phrase” tight on the purse strings” was translated incorrectly into the new colonial language. Whereas previously it was about frugality the colonial interpretation was much more sinister. These notoriously white Scots chose to use said purse strings to strangle others. Being tight on the purse strings has since meant “withhold the money until they starve,” a much more aggressive and white sentiment than the former “save for a rainy day” which is particularly relevant in Scotland.
Ireland faced an even more brutal colonization than Scotland in part due to white Scots. A significant number of Irish moved away being drawn by the opportunity of whiteness elsewhere. These people rejected their tradition of opposing colonial occupation to form the backbone of numerous racist police forces in North America and Australia.
England is unique as one of the original centres of whiteness. Although the England was not always a colonizer and therefore filled with white people there is nothing redeeming about Englishness.
Germany is best known for its culture of efficiency, quality workmanship and timeliness. Although valuable attributes they become scary when attributed to white people. Unfortunately some white Germans have interpreted the mantra of efficiency as a reason to ignore non-white input on public projects. Sometimes in an attempt to seem less horrible Germans and other white people use a system called consultation to shield themselves from such appropriate criticism.
Switzerland is known for its avoidance of conflicts. Time and time again they stand aside and avoid being pulled into violence. The principled stand of the Swiss over generations has been tarnished given their decision to hire white bankers. These bankers stand aside while dirty dictator death-squad money flows in avoiding the very violent action of saying “hey, where you get this money with all the blood on it?”
Frustrated by their topographical inferiority many Dutch and Belgians have looked for opportunities to become white. Their desire to do so has resulted in a juxtaposition of some excellent city planning with concentration-style camps for refugees.
Israeli’s didn’t exist until 1948 previously to that as Jews they weren’t considered white. Given the chance to be white some Israelis have dived into the opportunity with unmatched vigor. “I was so excited we get to have our own apartheid” said David Ben-Gurion shortly after the founding of Israel. As part of proving their whiteness Israelis build a lot of big walls, mostly mental but a lot of physical ones too.
Scandinavians are known for giving up on overseas colonization pretty early for a European nation with such a significant white streak. They are also known for being relatively welcoming to anyone and everyone. The thing is they actually use the six months of darkness afforded to them to by the Earth’s axial tilt for colonizing their northern neighbour Sápmi. This allows them to seem really nice to outsiders while being super super white.
There is nothing whiter than colonization but if your best colonizers left for Normandy over a thousand years ago you’ll be stuck colonizing odd places. This is the story of the white Danes who embarrassingly colonized the Faroe Islands and Iceland. Both nations contained people whose appearance was so similar to the white Danes they ended up becoming really confused and just pulling out. As a sign of contrition for their white members idiocy Danes have shown a very progressive attitude on gay rights.
Russia’s white members are fully in control of the country now. This contradicts a history of funding and supplying anyone fighting other colonial powers. Currently they are involved in a protracted struggle with the second blondest Muslim nation Chechnya (Bosnia is the first). Since the decline of their colonial influence non-military white members of the country are stuck hooliganizing football matches to ensure their teams will not be able to compete in Europe despite their otherwise massive home field advantage.
France is famous for its eloquent rhetoric. Numerous brilliant scholars have come out of France. It was in France that the concept of citizenship emerged which provided a basis for a less dictatorial state. Unfortunately the very prickish white elements of French society refused to share this status in any meaningful way with non-white French. At the same time certain elements wanted to turn non-white French subjects into little white Frenchmen. Eventually some non-white French subjects moved to France remaining very big, very Black, and very Beur, culminating in victory at the 1998 World Cup final.
Spaniards’ healthy approach to the work day would be a huge benefit to the world if so many white people didn’t go around forcing capitalism on everyone. Unfortunately due to inbreeding and typical white leadership the Spanish fleet threw a two hundred year tantrum where they went to the Americas and stole a bunch of silver. Since then they’ve collapsed like a collective drunkard all to the point where Spain has become of the weakest countries economically in Western (code for super-white as usual) Europe.
What this investigation has taught us is that Europeans have and had strong cultures full of vibrancy and kindness pre-contact. Post-contact however these nations have developed amongst the colonizing populace a scourge of whiteness. The symptoms, a total lack of empathy and an inability to recognize others as human have left white people in a state of total moral degradation. As white people internationally struggle to retain what is left of their humanity there remains a possibility for recovery. Perhaps if white people, now spread around the world, can learn to reclaim their European identities and stop being so bloody white we can have hope again.