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Policing is something white people really like.  You may already know that one of the great markers of whiteness is that policing makes you feel safer.  Most of the time white people just police non-white people but sometimes because we invest so much in policing and we like to self segregate the police come after white people too.  One great thing about the different police forces is their mottos tell you what they are about. Here are some explanations.

To Serve and Protect

This motto of the Toronto Police Service is actually a shortened version, the full being “to serve and protect, but not you.” This force has excellent cycling teams often seen traveling the city in groups of eight practicing their peloton formation.  They are also known for a very loose definition of weaponry which includes Nerf swords and bamboo sign posts.

Making Detroit a safer place to live, work, and visit

This motto surprisingly belongs to the Detroit Police Department.  The Detroit Police’s job is becoming increasingly easier, not do to their work combating crime police work rarely accomplishes that, but because people are leaving. Given their newfound spare time the Detroit Police have returned to their true love dominating the Southern Ontario highland games tug-of-war circuit.

Deeds not Words

This motto of the London Police Service (from London, Ontario, Canada) is a fancier version of their acting motto “taze first, questions second.”  They are perhaps best known for standing around doing nothing well some kids started a fire for no reason in the middle of nowhere.

Total Policing

The Metropolitan Police Service (MPS) operates almost all of London, UK.  This motto reflects the nature of their work as the generators of total riots.  Although they are responsible for the metro area of the nation’s capital those actually in charge recognize how bad they are and for this reason utilize the slightly less incompetent City of London Police.  The Met however have a great revenue generating scheme where they will tap any phone you want provided you give them good press.  The rates have gone down for this service to make up for all the bad press they received in the last couple years as a result of phone-hacking scandals.

Faithful unto Death

The motto of the New York Police Department is particularly jarring given how faithful they are to the second half of it.  Of late they are best known for their stop and frisk policy which they apply to anyone “reasonably assumed” to have committed, be committing or about to commit a felony.  People have challenged this program saying they are entirely misusing it.  The police manual counters this indicating in the glossary section that felonies including breathing and possession of socks, and reasonable assumptions include hunches and judgements based on daydream readings. Although this is widely believed to be an error in the manual top brass argue the only error was leaking the manual.

You see us running, catch up!

This motto belongs to the Miami Police Department bomb squad.  The jovial and friendly nature of the motto reflects their role as defusers of situations as opposed to the more conventional role of most police forces who tend to ratchet up situations.

Defending the Law

This motto belongs to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) and utilizes the best defense is an overwhelming offense when it comes to defending.  They also use the traditional rule of law definition (white power) and were instrumental in its initial application.

Building Relationships

The Winnipeg Police Service motto was shortened as the officers struggled to pronounce the middle word: dysfunctional.

Uphold the Right

Victoria Police are the police in the state of Victoria, Australia. Other than that they have some corruption charges some accusations of misconduct, some closet racist and some open ones the usual. Also they arrested 183 occupy activists and made charged just over -1 of them, so yeah the usual shit.

Integrity, Accountability, Community

The Maricopa County Sherriff’s office utilizes an imagined community in their motto. Integrity and accountability are meaningless in this motto so ignore them.  Their definition of community being imagined is highly nationalistic and as with all white nationalisms inherently racist. The community is not the only part of their work that is imagined as most of their practice is based on imagination. Their pull-over-anyone-who-looks-Mexican was imagined up by the sheriff himself and only those with overactive imaginations believe it is working. The actual idea came to Sherriff Arpaio when he ate some moldy dried out jalapeno he imagine was peyote, after someone he imagined was a Cherokee handed it to him as he imagined it was something they would use.

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