The following was recorded in Guelph in the late April 2011.

Caller: Hello, I am calling from Elections Canada my name is Pierre.

Recipient: What is this about?

C: Hold on do I detect a Middle Eastern accent.

R: Um, no you don’t.

C: Good to hear.  We don’t like middle easterners voting.

R: What did you just say?

C: Good to hear. We’d like to give you more information on voting.

R: That isn’t what it sounded like.

C: Ma’am let me assure you I am calling from RackNine here in Alberta on behalf of Elections Canada and we are trying to provide you more information on casting your ballot.

R: Wait. What is Racknine?

C: It’s the game of pool that comes after the eighth rack, why do you ask?

R: You just said you were with Racknine.

C: No I didn’t I said I am with Elections Canada.

R: Still why are you calling me?

C: We’d like to inform you of our new voting procedures.

R: Okay?

C: From now on only votes for the existing government will be cast at the date and location on your voter registration card.

R: What?

C: Yes to prevent confusion we will be having those wishing to vote for opposition parties vote the day after.

R: You must be crazy, next thing you’ll be trying to convince me I am supposed to vote at the poutinerie too.

C: Yes as a matter of fact. How’d you know?

R: You’ve come up on my caller ID as Mike’s Poutine.

C: Oh shit, it shouldn’t say that –

Call Ended


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