With police budgets going higher and higher all over the place here at White People HQ we are now ready to present a way to get value for money in policing. We have a model that will not only save money but also create a better police force. Although this model is aimed at conservatives the model should appeal to those all across the political spectrum. The best way to improve policing today: make the gangs the police.
First off making gangs the police will save significant funds. Despite the relative cutbacks in other areas police forces continue to see increasing portions of municipal budgets year over year. A large portion of this funding increase is the result of unionization something our more right wing members oppose. Not only does hiring gangs get outside the union requirement but hiring multiple gangs will create a competitive environment forcing the new police forces to compete against one another to prove they use their money efficiently. Furthermore since gangs tend to have a significant control of the existing drug trade this secondary source of income will prevent rising costs to the taxpayer. Since gangs are already heavily armed, just like on a constructions sight where you expect workers to supply their own steel-toe boots, gangs will bring the weaponry necessary to their work saving costs to us taxpayers
The advantage of multiple gangs working the streets is not limited to cost savings but will show benefits through increased transparency. Currently the police are tasked with investigating themselves in misconduct cases. Under the new scheme opposing gangs could investigate each other for a more impartial review process. Transparency extends beyond misconduct to day to day policing. Facial and other prominent tattoos will also make it more difficult for police officers to remove their badge numbers and avoid identification in court proceedings.
The likelihood of fair court trials also increases with gang members as police officers. Good research (Wikipedia, this pamphlet we found and conservative internet forums) indicates that most gang members are men of colour. Thanks to the racism endemic in our society the new gang-based officers are much less likely to be believed in a he-said she-said type court case. This should reduce unclear court convictions and show a subsequent cost-savings in the prison system. It will also reduce the amount of lying by officers as juries and defence lawyers will be more eager to interrogate the new officers given their existing suspicion of men of colour.
Conservatives should love this scheme because it is entirely merit-based and is in no way an affirmative-action campaign it is simply hiring the best and the brightest. Gang members have shown they know how to run the streets it is time as a society we paid them for the service. It will be difficult for some of the more openly racist white conservatives to admit that the gang members are competent but surely they will not begrudge them taking this new job opportunity.
Finally and most importantly however the new scheme will make the streets safer. The easiest way to guns out of the hands of gangs and into the hands of the police is to make the gangs the police. Undercover officers will also be much safer and more convincing than the buzz-cut C-students now sticking out like sore thumbs at cultural events all over our cities. The officers being people of colour themselves will also be able to tell other people of colour apart reducing the “accidental shootings” which currently create such animosity in communities. In closing remember if anyone is going to stop promoting police abuse and arbitrary stops it will be those people who have experienced it and understand its effects.