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If you want to be a radical ally you’ll need to get yourself to a protest.  Being present at a protest is a great way to not only get noticed as an ally but to ensure that you get what you want from the people you are helping.

First off you’ll need the look.  If you are a white man grow a beard.  All white protesting men grow beards to protect their faces from missiles and kisses. Beards allow you to avoid being mistaken for an undercover police officer. The beard convention also serves to ensure that leftists can identify themselves to each other from a distance when not in protest garb. As for the protest garb itself, worn out and DIY decorated is the standard anything to make sure that your white privilege can be exercised.

Going to a protest you will want to bring a sign.  There are a number of different conventions for sign creation. The first is slogans which are highly academic or make otherwise obscure reference and don’t connect with newcomers to the movement. This is a good choice if you want the group organizing the rally to appreciate you. When your signs help to maintain distance from the general public and other possible allies you will seem more important to them as a result. The second option is a sign which references an oppression you don’t yourself experience “animal cruelty is slavery,” or general references to the holocaust and Hitler are common. A final option for allies is a sign which indicate solidarity.  These have the advantage of indicating your separateness from the core of the movement and thereby creating visible division in the movement also taking away from the movement’s message. Don’t worry the media won’t ever pick up on this.

At most rallies there will be speeches. Take a chance and push to speak. This is your chance to bring up what is important to you as an ally (non-allies refer to this as derailing).  In your speech make sure to reference specifics and take about togetherness even as you highlight your ally separateness in your actions during the rest of the rally.  If you are speaking in North America you’ll want to do the standard ally opening it goes like this:

I want to begin by recognizing today that we are standing here on the unceded territory of the Ojibway the Iroquois and the Cherokee Princess tribes. Any mispronunciation, which would be totally avoidable had I put in effort or asked an indigenous person (if I knew any) is only the result of me attempting to flag indigineity as I shoehorn my previous white-marxist and/or white-feminist beliefs into the contemporary milieu.

After your speech it is important to mill around the protest to get face time with possible recruits for your own future rally.  Hand out flyers and take pictures so that people will be left with your literature and your record of what happened.  If you want to prove how radical you are you can even try and initiate some violence.  Don’t worry as an ally it is the community you are ‘supporting’ that will bare the brunt of any retaliation should you get a little riot started.

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